Warrior, not worrier.

I used to worry about the future, and people so much (Caring is different from worrying). Some times, I still think about stuff, but I shut down any fear that tries to show up. The moment I knew that I had really improved on my "Lose the worry" journey, was when my phone fell face down on concrete, and I was in zero rush to pick it up. The people around me panicked, and I just picked it up and put it in my pocket - didnt look at the screen. As far as I was concerned, the outcome, good or bad, is the outcome. Panicking wouldn't fix the phone. Also, there was a day that I needed to catch an urgent flight, and the traffic was insane. I remained calm, because I knew that I wasnt in control of the situation. As I pulled into the airport, I realized that I had forgotten my ID at home. At this point, I figured I'd just walk in and try to fly anyway. Without ID. This sounds impossible, but I actually was allowed to fly without ID. I didn't pay a bribe or anything. The person checking in, (even though it wasn't appropriate), just asked me for my name and pulled up my boarding pass, and security let me through without asking either. .

I had a person in my life who didn't understand my level of calm sometimes. When I didn't react to something they believed required fear and panic...they would delve further into painting a vivid picture of the seeming gloom that was in sight. And I'd say, "It's cool. No worries". It was upsetting to them. One time I asked if they wanted me to die of a heart attack from panicking - because....to what end is the gloomy picture painting ? .

I mean...there are times where I have tried to be a "realist", and face what's on ground. I feel like it's a way to keep being human. But it never helps me or anyone else. So I choose optimism over and over again, and I choose accountability to real life . If something breaks, I own it. If I make a mistake I own it. But I'll only own what I can control. I wake up and go, regardless of how I feel. My "magic" is in my state of spirit and mind. I believe that if I let the things around me control my emotions all the time, I can do nothing great. Can't control it ? Lose it. .

Adaora Mbelu